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In this blog I am addressing people who enjoy kicking you down when you are already down – those who do this, do it because they lack self-esteem because they lack confidence. I’m also going to discuss those who attack or shun people for being honest and open – I love writing and I have always written about my own experiences and issues that I care about - it’s called freedom of speech, if you don’t like people being honest and open and don’t like people who stand up for themselves than you should live in a country where people who voice their opinions are put in prison.  

There are people like myself who have gone through a lot of bad times in life and have been mistreated most of my life – I’m not saying that I have been more mistreated than others – but I know if I stand in a room full of ten people I know I would be one of the people with the highest ratings of people in that room who has been mistreated the most. I can honestly say that of the 99% of the people who I have trusted in my life – family and friends – are the same 99% who have treated me bad. I presumed through life I could (and should) trust my friends and family but I have learned through life that this is a wrong assumption.  Those people who did put my trust and care in are the same people who have treated me badly – this is just the truth – this is why it’s so difficult for me to be around people – how can you be around people who have hurt you or will potentially hurt you in the future. People have treated me like shit my whole entire life and it’s unfair for others to assume that I should tolerate it or those who assume that I should stay silent about it.

                    Before you start playing the violin and handing me a tissue and saying that I’m just looking for “sympathy” or “attention” – I would just like to say that I’m a strong individual – if anyone else went through the mistreatment as me through their whole life would have killed themselves by now or ended up with a cocaine addiction. I admit I’ve been mistreated and I deserved none of it – but I can also say I’ve never accepted it – if I was an insecure person I would still have those people in my life and I would be still tolerating their shit – for those who say I like to play ‘the victim’ – I didn’t ask for their mistreatment and I certainly didn’t deserve it. What happened to me isn’t something I wanted, I would have loved to have a life where people have treated me with respect and kindness – but sadly I didn’t get that life – you might have got it in your life, but I didn’t.  For those who did mistreat me, I never tolerated their shit – I will never tolerate anyone’s shit (regardless of who they are) – whether it’s a guy, whether it’s a friend, whether it’s a family member, whether it’s a co-worker or a stranger. If someone treats me like shit – I’m not going to put up with it – simple. Fuck with me – don’t expect me to be stupid and think you got away with it – you haven’t.  Be nice to me and I will be nice to you. Fuck with me – fuck off – it’s simple.

                     I have a lot of people who hate me – the reason why I have so many haters is because I have stood up for myself and didn’t take their bullshit lying down – people who stand up for themselves have haters.  People who put up with shit might have a lot of friends – but they aren’t respected. Someone close to me said the reason why they hate me is because I won’t tolerate their shit like others do - that is why they hate me.  I’m proud of the fact that I have not been a door mat. Even if these people have thrown their own negativity and insecurities onto me - I’ve always tried to remain a good person and I still believe people can be good. I think one of the main reasons people act like this is because so many people around the world are so obsessed with wanting people to like them, they lack confidence and they want to control or dominate others. I have always been a fun, friendly, kind, nice, generous, open and honest person – this is one of the main reasons why people have mistreated me – they take advantage of my positive qualities.   

                   People express themselves through different avenues – I express myself through writing (because I have a love of writing), some people are good at communicating verbally, than there are others who communicate their feelings and opinions through art, music and film – however you communicate and express yourself is acceptable – there is no wrong way of expressing yourself . I am a shy person – many people who know me well will scoff at that. In an environment where I don’t know people or don’t know anyone well enough to be able to trust them I find it hard to be myself I can be shy and introverted. It’s hard to get close to people when people have backstabbed you all your life. When I’m around people I don’t  know I generally wait for what is coming my way – because it’s happened to me time and time again. I’m not a talker as much as some other people are – I have friends that talk more than I do. But I write more than they do – we just communicate in different ways. If I’m around people I know or if I’m drinking alcohol I can be more of an extrovert.

                    I have often written about bad experiences that I and others have had.  I would like to talk about more positive and happy things – but it is hard to talk about positive and happy things when you have spent your life being mistreated by others. It’s hard to write about happy and positive events and people when I haven’t had many experiences with that in my life.  I can’t pretend that I’ve had more happy times than bad. I do write and put up good things online sometimes – but most  people just  ignore them – for those who tell me I’m always negative – perhaps if you took notice of the good things I post as well, instead of just the negative posts you wouldn’t say that about me. But people, who want to see you in a negative light, will only see you in a negative light.  

                   Some people are open and honest online and some people keep their problems to themselves – neither is wrong. I don’t care if someone shares their problems online – whether it’s Twitter, Facebook, YouTube or Tumblr. These are platforms for communication – and if people want to be open and honest on them then they should. Some people just use the internet to play games or to like pictures of cats.  People shouldn’t hate on others for using a social media website for what it was created for – which is primarily use is for communication. It’s sad when you do talk about a problem that you have (that isn’t positive) and there are more strangers who care about you than your own friends and family. Apparently what your friend or family member is going through doesn’t matter these days. It’s a shame that people bottle things up inside and can’t say what they are feeling because if they do – they get attacked for it. It’s even sadder when your friends and family don’t care, and you have to turn to strangers just to have someone listen to you and acknowledge what you are going through. You could go to a counsellor, but they won’t solve your problems at all, and they only listening and pretending to care because they are getting paid – they don’t care about you at all. I really do believe it’s those people who have fucked you over are the ones who should be seeing a counsellor and are the ones that need to change -  not the people who they fucked over.

                    When you open up to others about your feelings or your problem - you are doing it because you just want someone to listen to you and acknowledge you – you aren’t asking for help, you aren’t looking for sympathy, you aren’t opening up to get suggestions, you don’t want money or assistance – you just want someone to be there for you and to listen to you. When you do open up to someone – make sure you observe and take notice on how they react because this is a big indicator of who they are as a person, and how much they care about you. Sometimes when someone is going through a hard difficult situation it’s hard to know what to say – I know people have said things to me and I didn’t know how to respond and didn’t know the right things to say back to them – sometimes they tell me about somebody who has mistreated them – and it’s hard to call the person who mistreated (or is mistreating) them a “bitch” or an “asshole” especially when they are still associated with them, because you know they will tell that person what you said about them, but deep down you want to. When someone does tell me their problem I do try to indicate that I have listened and nod my head even if I don’t know what to say – it’s even harder when they are going through a situation which you don’t understand and you haven’t experienced yourself. If someone is having a shit attack on Facebook or upset about something and write it down on Facebook – I press the LIKE button – not because I like that they are upset or because I want them to be angry or hurt – but I press ‘Like’ because I want them to know that I read what they wrote and I am there for them – and I don’t have the right words to comment bellow so I give them some indication that I read what they wrote and I’m there for them.

                   I know someone who has a problem and has had the same problem for a while now. I don’t have a problem with someone telling me the same problem over and over again – I’m happy to listen to them complain about it for another 1,000 times if they want – it’s good for them to get it all out of their system. They told me they like talking to me because I listen and I don’t talk as much as my other friend who talks a lot. Sometimes I do throw my advice out there – sometimes I say ‘leave’, ‘stop putting up with it’, ‘say no’ or ‘stop letting them take advantage of you’ – and whether or not they take my advice isn’t important - the most important thing is that you listen to them and you were there for them when they have someone there for them to get it off their chest. It’s difficult for people who are stuck in an difficult situation, but it’s also hard and frustrating for those who are witnessing it – some people see you stuck for so long and don’t see your circumstances changing so they can get frustrated with you because they want the best for you – they scream at you “get the out of the mud” and “you should be out by now” – and you scream back “I’m trying I’m trying – but I can’t get out no matter how hard I’ve tried” – shitty situations can be frustrating for everyone. When you are in a bad situation people in your life will react in different ways – some will turn away and ignore you, some will walk away from you and you will never see or hear from them again – some will pretend to care and then stab you in the back - and there are a few  who will actually be there for you through the whole duration of the problem, no matter how long it takes. You really do really find out who genuine cares about you when you go through a bad time. Sometimes people only care for a short period of time, before they start getting disdained with it all.

                    The worst times of your life and how people treat you in that time will be an eye opener on which you can and cannot trust.  There are those who will rejoice in your displeasure, on the surface they will say “oh poor you” but inside they are saying “ha ha” and rubbing their hands together like an evil villain from a movie. Many will only listen or fake caring so they can hear what you are going through to get some needed ego boost for themselves or so they can spread gossip about you. If they see you down they will use it as an indication and a reflection on themselves that they are better off than you – when really they are only more fortunate than you in that time – but that doesn’t mean they will be better than you in the future. Then there are those who can behave immature and bitchy and will just laugh at you and cut you down behind your back – because they are really nice people.  I’m fortunate that I have had people in my life who have been genuine and cared – I’m not just talking about those who have helped me physically – but those who have been there for me emotionally.

                    If I could go back in time, the one thing I would change would be not to have to deal with all the shit people in my life in the first place – I would rather spend my life alone then be with those nasty swine’s. If I didn’t have those people in my life – I would have had a better and happier life and happier memories.  Even though I’ve taken the negative people out of my life – it was after they had emotionally harmed me, and by that time it is too late for them not to leave a negative impression on me.

                    Sometimes you can use a bad situation and turn it into a positive situation. Sometimes a bad time can be a good thing in disguise and you don’t realise it until in the future. You may be in a bad place now – but tomorrow you could be in a better place – and certainly could be in a better place than those who have kicked you down.  Tomorrow you could be somewhere good – and they will still be in the same place, still putting you down. That’s the difference between you and them.  Sometimes you have to be patient. We can’t get what we want straight away – sometimes goals take a long time to achieve, but if you don’t give up you will eventually have a good chance of achieving them. I have goals – and I am working on my goals every day - I wonder what goals those people who have kicked me down have and whether they are working hard to achieve them?

                     I am a strong person – I have common sense, wisdom and I am emotionally strong – no matter how many people treat me like shit – whether it’s in the past, present or in the future – I will still remain a positive and good person – a confident person can’t be knocked down – and they see you as being confident and trying hard to achieve your goals they will try harder and harder to kick you down. The reason why people kick you down, is because they see a potential in you – even if you can’t see that potential in yourself, they can see it that is why they find it so confronting, they are threatened by it – so they feel the need to kick you down and trying to harm you because they don’t want good in your life. You should never let people who behave in this way to prevent you from going as far as you can. They know you can do it – so you should. You should take it as a compliment, they envy you. What people love about you – will be the same thing that incites hate onto you.

                     It’s completely natural to let negative experience get you down – I admit I have let negative people and experiences get me down – but I am only reacting naturally to a negative experience. I haven’t let all these bad experiences or negative people put me off tomorrow and my goals – I’m determined to gain my goals – I’m determined. All the people who have put me down or tried to damage me have all one thing in common – insecurity and they lack confidence. I have seen insecurities in all of them, they couldn’t hide it – their lack of confidence is obvious to me. None of them have been successful at bringing me down completely – I will win – someone who is weak and uses bullying tactics will only lose.

                   It’s hard to be positive and happy all the time when so much negativity has come your way – you can’t fake your feelings. No matter how life tries to drag me down, I’ve always tried to remain confident and positive.  People through life have often under estimated me and anyone who thinks I’m stupid’ are the ones who are really stupid. I’m very independent, and independent minded and confident to walk alone – in that aspect I don’t need to latch myself onto anyone – family, friend, boyfriend – I don’t need another person to like me or love me for me to like myself. If someone disrespects me they are out the door – I don’t have time for that – I know my worth. It doesn’t matter to me if I have a boyfriend or not – it doesn’t matter to me at all – I don’t need anyone holding my hand to give me value.  It doesn’t matter if I have one friend - it doesn’t matter – I still know my own value. I don’t need anything superficial like designer hand bags to sell me – it doesn’t matter – I know my value. I don’t want you all to think I’m vain – I’m just a confident person and saying it how it is. I’m not afraid to eat at a café by myself or to stand on my own two feet.

                    I have friends that go to movies by themselves – they don’t need someone holding their hand in the theatre because they are confident. If they want to see a movie they will just go see it – why wouldn’t you go see a movie you wanted to see. Why do people depend on others for their own self- worth? Why do people depend on others to do something they want to do – if you want to do something you should just do it. I admire people who are independent and confident. It’s frustrating for me to be an independent person- and know that because of certain personal circumstances that I can’t be completely independent – I hate that, it’s so frustrating.  This is what bothers me the most - it gets me down sometimes. I would love to get everything I want overnight – and I do try so hard to get what I want – I work on it every single day  and I never give up – for most getting what you want overnight is usually impossible. It’s disheartening when you try so hard to improve your life, when circumstances and certain people kick you down to try to keep you down.

                   If you are going through a bad time, if you are unhappy about something, don’t ever feel bad or guilty for opening up and being truthful – it’s not a sin to write the truth down – it’s a sin for someone to mistreat you, that’s the real sin. If they don’t want you to write it down – they shouldn’t give you anything to write about. It’s the ones that hurt you that are the bad ones, not you. If a victim opens up about what happened to them and someone puts them down for it – they are victim blaming and victim blaming is a serious problem we still have in our society. It’s 2014 and society is still downing and saying negative things against victims – the reason why so many people bully, rape, assault, murder, intimidate, abuse is because society is so busy blaming the victim instead of the instigator and society is saying ‘THE VICTIM SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT” - the victim isn’t in the wrong, it’s the instigator that is in the wrong. Bad people get away with treating people like shit because society is too busy pointing the finger at the victim – and telling the victim that they “provoked it”  instead of blaming the one in the wrong. This is why so many victims don’t open up about what happened to them. They stay silent like society expects them to do - and in 20 years’ time when they find the courage and they finally break the silence about the mistreatment happened to them, society will scream at them and victim blame again by saying “WHY DIDN’T THEY COME OUT WITH IT AT THE TIME AND NOT 20 YEARS LATER?” – more victim blaming. The reason why they stay silent for so long is because they are misjudging the victim instead of the villain. Victims know people won’t believe them, that people will turn away from them. People want victims to stay silent and most people will turn a blind eye – that’s why so many victims keep their problems to themselves. When a victim does talk about it, society turns around and says “Go talk to a counsellor” or “I have my own problems” or “I don’t want to hear your dirty laundry” apparently your friend or families feelings are no more than “dirty laundry” and people wonder why people stay quiet, why so many people suffer from depression and why so many people take their own lives. The instigator walks around after damaging another person and pretending they have done nothing wrong – while the victim is left in a heap of emotional mess. Villains rarely get shunned in society – it’s the victims who get shunned. People who know the villain won’t believe the victim and will bond with the villain instead and pretend that the villain is innocent. This is what is wrong with society.

                   I’ve experienced so many times menacing treatment placed upon my own persons and I can’t pretend to be happy and be okay with it. I will not accept it. Some people have stood by me through it all – but then there are those who are kind to you – but then start giving you dirty looks and treat you like you are a bad smell and they no longer want you around - they see you as a burden and start seeing you as a hindrance. Evil people will see you depressed and vulnerable and will try to take advantage of your weakness and dependency – and they will think it’s acceptable that they can behave nasty towards you and strangle you – it’s hard when you thought the people you cared and trusted the most can turn against you so savagely – they become the people you thought they weren’t. Many people think if they have been good to you in the past – that they have a free pass to treat you like shit – because they feel that you should be grateful to them. No one has a free pass to piss on another person. I’m okay with people being nice and helping someone out – but it doesn’t give anyone the right to treat me like shit on a later date.

                    If someone has a problem with you they should just say it, and be mature – there is no good explanation for emotionally abusing or bullying someone – and if someone is emotionally abusing someone they shouldn’t expect them to be nice about it and tolerate it – that won’t be happening. You can’t expect someone to smile and be on friendly terms with you – after you treated them that way. Many people can be perceived as nice - but underneath the surface they are bitter, nasty, slimy and two faced.

                   There will be people who only like you when certain people like you – but if those certain people turn their back on you – they will act like sheep and follow them and turn their back on you. I hate sheep and followers this world is full of sheep and clones. There are not many genuine individuals around these days. I like people who speak and think for themselves, those who don’t  nod and go along with what someone else says – a confident person will always have their own opinions and think for themselves – regardless of what backlash they get.  A sheep is someone who follows another – confident people don’t need to follow – they are walking in their own direction without anyone speaking for them or holding their hand.  I’ve had people who enjoyed my company when I’ve been out partying, but as soon as I go through a bad time and unable to go out partying anymore – they turn against me and don’t want to know you when you hit rock bottom. When you are out having fun and are happy and having fun you won’t know who your real friends are – but when you hit rock bottom that is when you see people’s true colours. When you are at the top everyone loves you, when you are at the bottom everyone hates you – that’s acceptable behaviour in how people in society treat each other – people are sheep. It’s easier to hate someone because other people hate them, then it is to love someone that other people hate. That’s the difference between people these days – some people follow – and some people lead.

                   Everyone has gone through bad times – but some people have been through worse times than others. Telling someone that there are people worse off than them and they shouldn’t be upset is like telling someone happy that someone has it better than them so they shouldn’t be happy. Some people have a career, their own income, a home to live in, and a support network where they have someone in their home where they feel comfortable to talk to – someone they can talk to without feeling judged negatively or under attack. But not everyone has that. Some people are open about their problems. Some people bottle up their feelings and let their problems and feelings fester and build up in time – and after a while all those feelings explode and it will be worse in the long run because they didn’t face or wasn’t open about the problems at the time. I’ve seen a lot of people end up resenting someone because they said “yes” and went along with something they didn’t like or didn’t want to do to make their partner happy. They never faced the problem head on at the time and pretended that they were okay with doing it, when they weren’t – just to gain someone’s acceptance.  You can brush problems under the mat but it doesn’t mean it’s gone; it’s still there and will still be there in the future – sometimes the problem will grow in time and get worse. People who don’t open up about their problems end up being mistreated – can end up depressed, can end up with bad addictions and some go as far as committing suicide.

                    There are people who are lucky to have support from others when they open up, some people don’t have that. It’s healthier to let it all out – you shouldn’t have to feel guilty about opening up about a bad experience or what someone has done wrong to you. The problem with people today is that they judge another person’s circumstances through their own circumstances – they shouldn’t do that – they should remember that another person’s circumstances are completely different to their own. This is why people judge others so unfairly.

                    If oppressed groups of people in society didn’t open up and stand up for themselves about being mistreated they would still be oppressed and others will still be mistreating them. Those who mistreat you want you to stay quiet; they want you to pretend that nothing bad happened (so they won’t feel guilty about what they did wrong to you). Being open and standing up for you won’t only just help yourself – but it will also give confidence to others to be able to speak up as well.  Speaking up won’t completely stop that person or others from mistreating you in the future – many negative people who do wrong to others will continue to do so. You will find those who mistreated others have a strong network of people who support them and who become an audience to their bitchiness. But if you stand up for yourself and speak openly about it – it will make the unconfident person weaker and they won’t be able to continue to get away with it in the future as much as they would like to.  Many victims who have been harmed can feel weak – especially when they are outnumbered or they feel like they are in a position of powerless – but everyone should remember that everyone has power. It doesn’t matter what someone else thinks about you or says about you. You aren’t being respected by that person – you are being taken advantage of.

                    If someone really loves and cares about you they would want the best for you and the best for your life presently and in the future and they will want you to be open to those opportunities. A fake person will try to take away your power, for their own gain – that’s because they are weak. So many people give up their own power to gain acceptance from another person so they can feel loved – but often you will find those people who give up their own power are often people who lack self-confidence. They don’t have self-esteem so they tolerate shit and go along with being taken advantage off – just so they can feel loved, needed and wanted. It doesn’t matter how bad your life is or how bad your situation is – you should never trade your own power for a few moments of comfort – your power is yours alone – and you should keep it and never give it to another person (regardless of who they are) – otherwise they will take advantage of you or they will use you.

                    There are fools who believe that power is about physical strength, abuse, domination and using violence to gain something for them – they use these tools to dominate another person to gain power over another person. Many people often use these same tools for revenge. Violence isn’t powerful and it has nothing to do with being dominating or in control – those who use violence do so because they don’t feel like they are in control, they lack self-esteem – violence is a tool used by the weak and the cowardly. Being educated, having knowledge, being a good person, standing up for yourself, being open and honest is more powerful – violence is for fools.

                    Even though I’ve always been honest with myself and with other people – I’ve also had days and times where I didn’t open up about my feelings or what I’m going through because I know I will get a backlash from people who will take advantage of my feelings. I don’t’ know if there is such thing as karma – often I see so many people trying to do the right thing in life and not getting anywhere and don’t have any luck. I have noticed so many good people, who are loved, have good partners, have children and have a good life – they are often the ones that are burdened with mistreatment, end up with diseases or dying by some unfortunate accident. I’ve also noticed that there are so many shitty people they walk around through life fucking others over – they have good careers, lots of money, they have a home to live in, they have lots of people who love them, lots and friends – yet these are the same people who are shitty and nothing bad ever happens to them and they live a long healthy happy life. I don’t think it’s fair. There’s only so much you can do to impact on your own destination and future. Sometimes you aren’t in control of all aspects of your life – much of who is in our life and what we get in life (career) is up to others. You can’t force someone to give you the job, you can’t force someone to be your partner and you can’t force someone else to be friends with you.  Many of the opportunities in our life are left up to another person’s decision – so it really is out of your power. Many people’s destinations in the future are out of their hands – some people do well and try to the right thing in life and they have nothing to show for it. It doesn’t matter how nice or good of a person you are it doesn’t mean your life is going to end up good and people are going to be good to you – from my perspective of observing others – it’s quite the opposite in my opinion.

                   Through my own bad experiences, I’ve had in mind who would be there for me and who won’t be – I found out the most the ones who I thought would be kind and care – turned out to be the ones who cared the least. I remember when I knew someone who was sick and dying in hospital– and their friend told me that all the friends that socialised with them when they were healthy, won’t have anything to do with them now that they are sick and they won’t even go to the trouble of visiting them. It’s sad that when you form a relationship and a bond with someone – people you talked to, had fun with, trusted, spent time with – meant nothing to them at the end of the day. I remember I had a friend who became obsessed with a man she started seeing, so obsessed she got rid of all her friends – one of my close friends told me that she would never do that. A few years later she did exactly the same thing. Some people not only deceive you, but they also deceive themselves.

                   Real friends are supportive and encourage their friends to go higher. But then you get those who get great pleasure and joy in hurting you – they get a laugh and an ego boost from it. It’s sad that someone convinces themselves that they are better than you by putting you down, using your own problems against you to gain an easy ego boost for themselves. If someone was really better than you, they wouldn’t go down that level – they wouldn’t need to. It’s the same thing when something good happens to someone – even if it’s just something small something insignificant – instead of being just cool with it and accepting it – they turn around and get really bothered by it.

                    If you see someone abusing or bullying someone else – you shouldn’t stand by the bully or the abuser (and to me they are the same thing) – you should stand up for the victim – because it’s the victim that is under attack and needs someone supporting them.  The thing I’ve noticed in life when someone has attacked me; is that no one has stood up for me. I had to stand up for myself and fight my own battles. I learned from a very young age that I could depend on no one – the only person I could truly depend on was I.  We need more people standing up for each other.  When someone victim blames by saying to a victim of emotional abuse – “Well maybe you shouldn’t provoke them” – blaming the victim for being mistreated – it’s funny because when someone is accusing you of doing something, they never say what it is – because they know that you haven’t done anything wrong – it’s easy for someone to say you are in the wrong – when they don’t have any example at all to back up their claim. If I say I don’t like someone or write about someone that has hurt me – I write down exactly what they have done to hurt me – I don’t just write online that they are a “bitch” or a “psycho” because that is immature – if you are going to go and call someone a bitch, give a reason why you are calling them a bitch, you can’t just call them a bitch without a reason. If someone calls me a bitch, give me a reason why I’m a bitch and I will respect that. I don’t understand why girls are calling themselves bitches these days – and putting bitch stickers on their cars , women these days have low self-esteem enough, and they are putting themselves down further, a bitch refers to someone who is nasty and horrible, somebody who is mean to another (or other people) for no good reason – they call themselves a bitch like they are proud of it. If you are behaving like a complete and utter bitch towards someone, that is nothing to be proud of. Do you really want to spend your life behaving and looking like someone who is nasty and horrible – no one is going to like you if that’s the way you want to behave in life. If someone has hurt you, get rid of them out of your life completely – don’t have anything to do with them. Write down what they did to hurt you and get it off your chest.  Those who use bitchy tactics – by bullying, abuse, stalking or harassing are going about it the wrong way – and they are only hurting themselves more than the person they are trying to hurt.

                 I know someone who from the outside looks like they have the perfect life – a successful career, a home, partner, and children – but this person is often unhappy and depressed and they open up online about how they are feeling and they have been doing this for quite a while now. Not once have I ever felt annoyed or upset with them for opening up about how they are feeling – and I never have judged them unfairly. I really admire them actually for being so honest and real – because it’s hard to find honest and real people these days. There are so many fake people out there; I’m always pleasantly surprised when someone is open and honest. Many people hide their problems in the hope that their problems will go away. Some people lack confidence and see problems in their life as a reflection on themselves – that somehow having a problem makes them a bad person or they feel like a failure for having a problem – it doesn’t – everyone has problems it’s just some people are more courageous to address the problem, rather than hiding it away.  Some people pretend their life is a bunch of roses when it really is a bunch of weeds. Those who are open about their problems and address them are the ones who solve their problems and end up with a better and happier future. So many people sugar coat their life and pretend they are living a fairy tale life because they want others to be jealous of them, but in reality they are only kidding themselves, it doesn’t matter if someone puts on a fake smile and pretends everything is alright – people aren’t stupid – they know that you’re life isn’t that great and you have problems in your life. Like MGMT sang “Your Life is A Lie”. Those people who are honest and open, have a better chance of improving their lives than those who work so hard trying to pretend there is nothing wrong.

                   I’ve seen so many couples who are together and they pretend their relationship is happy and perfect, then all of a sudden they break up and no one knows why and everyone says “I thought they were the perfect couple” – sometimes what you see on the outside, is the opposite of how it really is on the inside. Sometimes nightmares are often disguised as fairy tales. So many people want to live in some fantasy life - they want their life to be fantastic, so to the outside world they pretend it’s fantastic. I often find that it’s these same people who are pretending that life is great – are the same people who feel the need to put people down for being honest and open about their problems – it’s hypercritical – they put down people who are courageous to do something they are too gutless to do. So many people are living a façade life. They pretend they are happy and stay in a negative situation (or with someone who has hurt them) because they fear change – they would rather stay in a negative satiation that is familiar to them – then move into unfamiliar situation – even though that unfamiliar territory could give them a better life and better opportunities. These are people who live in fear of the unknown.

                   When I say something is shit – it’s because it is shit – simple. I’m not going to put a pretty nice spin on something just because someone wants to stay oblivious to the truth. There’s no sugar coating here – there’s reality and that’s it. I won’t sprinkle glitter on shit and try to sell it as something better than it is. If you are going to judge me – at least you are judging me for being me and being real and honest. But don’t say you are better than me just because you are living in a fake exterior and too afraid to be open and honest about your own problems. Just because I’m more honest and open than another person doesn’t mean they are better than me. I find those who enjoy sitting on their egotistical thrones and enjoy kicking me down when I’m already down are truly spiteful and nasty. Their shit smells just as bad (or worse) than mine or anyone else’s. They just live life pretending they don’t shit on the toilet like everyone else – just because no one sees you shitting on the toilet - don’t mean you’re not shitting. Everyone knows you are shitting!

                     It’s not the ones who are keeping it real and honest who are in the wrong. It’s those who are kicking them down for being real and honest who are in the wrong.


               KoЯn is an American band from California formed in 1993. The bands current lineup includes founding members Jonathan Davis, James “Munky” Shaffer, Brian “Head” Welch, and Reginald “Fieldy” Arvizu with Ray Luzier sho replaced drummer David Silveria. Korn was originally formed by three members of the band L.A.P.D. Korn released their first demo album, NEIDERMAYER’S MIND in 1993. The band went on to release their self-titled debut album in 1994, followed by LIFE IS PEACHY in 1996. They gained success with FOLLOW THE LEADER in 1998 and ISSUES in 1999. In 2002 they released UNTOUCHABLES and in 2003 TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR. GREATEST HITS VOL. 1 was released in 2004. SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE was released in 2005 – and an untitled album was released in 2007. KORN III: REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE released in 2010 and THE PATH OF TOTALITY in 2011. THE PARADIGM SHIFT was released in 2013. 

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